Monday, November 23, 2015

Project: Keep Busy ~ Life Updates! (Photo Heavy)

First off, let me just take a second to thank all of my friends and family that have been so wonderful to us during our time of loss. I seriously wouldn't have made it through those dark first days without the wonderful women in my life texting, calling, and stopping by with food. I've learned more than once in my life that it's exactly like that song says, "you find out who your friends are," when something like this happens. So thank you all, and I love you so dearly. I'll never forget your kindness to us.

 As my friend said when she dropped these goodies off: "There are very few problems in life that ice cream and Reese's can't solve."

This has been my motto ever since we found out about the miscarriage. I have no power to change any of this at all, the best I can do it let it be. When I find myself in times of trouble, let it be.

Later on that week I had to go back to my Doctor for more blood work and my sweet Mama made it a "day" for us, we ended up at Hobby Lobby where I found this plate bracelet (the band actually came from Michael's, but they had a wide variety at HL too). It's a quote from the book of Joshua in the Bible. I need this as a constant reminder. Not just about the miscarriage, but about lots of other things in my life, the anxieties and the depressions that sneak up on me... I wear this every single day, and I love it.
And I made a little time to pamper myself. I sent this goofy picture to my best friend and she just giggled. She wasn't sure what was sillier, the green face or the big glasses ON the green face! #blindgirlproblems


Ok, moving on to happier bits. Well, busier, in any case.

I've been pretty set on a few things since we found out about our miscarriage. First thing was myself. I decided to really take care of myself, enjoy not being pregnant. I know that sounds horrible. I know. But I've spent so much of the last 3 years hating myself for not being pregnant that I decided to take advantage of the situation. Tackle all the things I'd been putting of because I was either punishing myself or I thought I was pregnant - it was a vicious cycle every month. I've been back to my old "all of nothing" habits, late night cleaning sessions, crazy books, binge watching tv shows until the wee hours of the morning. And on top of it all, I've lost 17 pounds! That is pure insanity to me. I started gaining weight in college, but just the "freshman 15," and I managed to get it back off for our wedding with a LOT of effort, but it came off enough to where my dress did not have to be altered in the waist to become bigger. It seems like it was no time after we were married that the weight started packing back on, and this time I couldn't take it back off, and my eating habits and exercising habits hadn't changed at all. I won't say the number that I got up to, because it's still really embarrassing, even though there was a medical reason why I was gaining so quickly. After the PCOS diagnosis, it all made sense. So when my doctor put me on Metformin, she said it helped a lot for certain women in losing weight. Not gonna lie, I sat there in her office, clasped my little Southern Belle hands in front of my chest, gazed up towards the Heavens and said "please, Lord."


This side by side shows me before and after (at just 15 pounds down). Before was back in the late summer, just before I started Metformin. And this was 11/13 - the day before my Birthday, when Mom and I took our pre-buying trip to the hardware store. Yes, that's a thing, and I'll 'splain more in a bit.
Ok, I'll be the first to admit that the Je T'aime sweater might be a tad adolescent. But I march to the beat of my own drummer. I bought it two years ago at Kohl's without trying it on first, and I was so bummed when I got it home and tried it on and it was too small. I shoved it into my sweater drawer and said "if I can ever lose weight I'll wear this." BOOM. I was so tickled with myself! I can really tell the difference in my face in these two pictures. I'm hoping to drop another 10 pounds by Valentine's Day! I saw Valentine's cause, ain't nobody got time for a diet in November and December. Am I right?



 My 26th birthday was on the 14th, but we celebrated with our families after church on the 15th. We decided to go to Longhorn Steakhouse. Truth be told, the Metformin has changed my appetite so much that I honestly eat like a bird. I eat about a third of everything on my plate. IDK how I'm gonna survive Thanksgiving. So, I basically let our niece choose where we went. She said Longhorn, I said ok. Above is me with my sweetheart. This guy has been my ROCK and my STRENGTH for the past few weeks. We've really pulled together and clung together to help get each other through this, and I feel like we are stronger now than we ever have been. I don't know what I could do without him, and I still haven't figured out what I did to deserve him.

It was pretty dang chilly that day, but not cold like it is today. And because I've dropped some weight, I've been digging through my closet for things that I can't/won't/haven't worn in a while.
Now, please pardon the mess on the mirror. I promise I cleaned it the night before, I guess I was just too tired to notice I forgot to wipe that spot off! *WHOOPS* #housewifefail. But this dress was actually my Easter Dress. I bought it earlier in the year from Target because I loved the shape of it, the way it flared out at my hips. Again, I didn't try it on in the store and when I got home it was WAY too short. But I felt like it would be really cute with leggings, so I hung it in the back of the closet to wait for fall and winter. I paired it with navy leggings, a brown belt to match my brown boots (my only boots, I love them and they fit. I have a funky shaped leg after being so sick with MRSA when I was a teen that boots, unless I special order, are hard to come by) and then a navy sweater that I sort of forgot I had. I've been wearing it for years as a shirt, fully buttoned up, but I love it unbuttoned. #shopwhatchagot Everyone LOVED this outfit, Aaron said I looked gorgeous, so it got an A+ in my book, and it will probably be my Thanksgiving outfit because it's so forgiving!

Here's a side by side of then and now. My how we've changed! We've each lost 10 pounds in hair alone! ;) (I have a chin. That's nuts. I haven't been able to SEE my chin in a photo since I was 15. #metformindietplan)


HERE'S WHERE THE FUN BEGINS!

So, after my birthday money came in, I was ready to get to work on my house! As you probably know if you've been here for a minute, I haven't been wild about the color of my living room and hallway. Never. When we chose the color (Sherwin-Williams "Pottery Urn")  we were planning on decorating our house in the "primitive" style. It's a very very country look, and I was raised in a home that has primitive accents to it. My Mom made a comment one time that my home is more "Southern Living" and her's is more "Country Living." And she's totally right. The Pottery Urn was perfect against all the prim stuff I was looking at. But then we found the rug and everything changed. 
See the rug? We found it at Lowe's. It had every single paint color in our house on it and we loved it. So we had to rearrange our decor theme so that it would match with the feel of that rug. 

Moving on.... I'm spending way too much time on the rug. 

Our living room has looked mostly like this as long as we've lived here. The printed rug is what is in the room currently, and much of the decor elements have changed. But stay with me here.
 You get to see this years tree soon! Keep reading!!! And it's preeeeeeeetty!



I knew I NEEDED to lighten the walls up. I had painted everything white that I could, bought white curtains and hung up, had white photos hanging on the walls. But still, it felt dark in my living room, and I didn't like it. So, I decided that, to save on money, cause you all know that I don't do anything unless it's in the budget, I would wait until my birthday, when I got all my birthday money, and put it towards paint. That way no money would come out of our account at all. Aaron was totally on board with that. I may have mentioned it on here before, but he's great about me and my "projects." He works all day long every day (usually 8 - 10 hours a day), so he always says "as long as you are happy and don't hate me for not being able to help, and you don't hurt yourself, go for it." Thankfully I have a Mom who can do anything, literally anything. She helped us 6 years ago, every night for three months while we worked turning this place into our home, painting walls, and trim and ceilings and replacing countertops and lighting fixtures and hot water heaters, etc etc. We couldn't have done it without her. And she was still working full time too! These days, she has rightfully earned her retirement. She could probably still be working, but she had a really scary episode in January with her heart and esophagus, so I pretty much bullied her into retirement. It suits her so well. So, getting back on track, I gave my ol' Mama a call and told her what I wanted to do. Plus, she is pretty awesome about speaking her mind. If something looks stupid, she says so. 

My plan was, paint the walls a really super light greige color (grey/beige), new window treatments (still waiting on them to arrive, bummer), painting and rearranging all photographs hanging on my walls. She thought it was great. So on the 13th, we took a pre-planning trip to the hardware store. We scouted out the price for paint, the price for my curtains, we got some new decor items and we got a few Christmas decor items... not sure how that happened. They sort of just fell into our cart at Michael's. *shrugs*

Here's how it all worked out.
At 8am on Monday the 16th, Mom picked me up and we drove into town to the Ace Hardware. Let me take a minute to give them a plug. I've got anxiety problems. I've mentioned it before but not everyone in my life knows about it. Anyway, going to big stores like Lowe's or Home Depot nearly sends me into a panic attack. They're so big and so many people are there. At Ace, it's smaller, and they're is a steady stream of a few people in there at all times. A much smaller crowd that I can handle. Plus at Lowe's you have to stand at the paint counter for three days before anyone will help you. At Ace Hardware, we went in on Friday to check for paint samples and price check and get our plan together. We spoke to a nice lady at the paint counter who answered all of our questions and put our minds at ease for the weekend. On Monday when we bounced up in the place with no makeup on, dirty pulled back hair and painting clothes on, the same girl was there, remembered us, and remembered the color we had chosen and what brand of paint we decided to go with. I was amazed. Ace Hardware has all my business from now on. We ended up buying five gallons... which ended up being WAY MORE than we needed, but we have a plan for the leftover paint....

The hard part was moving my entertainment center. We knew it would be. We had planned ahead for this, remember. We decided that once we moved it out, the wall behind it got ONE coat of paint and then the entertainment center got moved back into place. It took us an hour to get it moved, an inch at a time, but we moved it out to where a ladder could go behind it. And then we took a break. :)

I suppose telling you what brand and color of paint I got would help.

Here's the swatch up against my kitchen cabinets and countertops.... It's an ACE exclusive Valspar color called "Brushed Cotton." It's the lightest greige you've ever laid your eyes on. Unless you've got it held up to a true white, you think it's white. Honestly I didn't think it would be as light as it turned out to be, but I really do love it. We ended up choosing the ACE brand paint as well. It's called ROYAL, and we were really pleased with it's performance, of course we got the paint and primer in one and in a lot of places we only needed one coat. Highly recommend.


Painting commenced around 10:30 that morning. My house was a disaster, Tabby was very confused, and Mom and I were jamming to 60's music. (see how the end piece of the E.Ctr comes off? That was very handy.)

Now our original plans were to take it a section at a time a day at a time. The "sitting area" of the living room comes first. Then the next day do the "entry/music" area. Then the next day do the hall. If we had enough paint left over, we would also paint the kitchen to match.


 The paint went on so easily we were halfway done with the hall before we even realized it! I trim, Mom rolls. It's a good arrangement. I have a steady hand for trimming and she doesn't anymore, I can't roll a wall to save my life, she can. She said something during painting that warmed my heart. My grandpa, her Dad, was a painter. He was a little bit of everything, actually -train conductor, solider, butcher, cook, painter etc.-, but for a long chunk of time, he was a sign painter. And he had stencils for a lot of his lettering, but a lot of it he did free hand, because his hands were so steady. Well, I was up on the ladder and she said "Your Grandpa would be so proud of the way you trim. Steady hands, just like his." I wanted to cry into my paint bucket.

I loved how my blue front door was now a focal point in the room. I kept joking that it was saying "BAM!"
 Thankfully, just as Aaron was getting home from work with our supper in hand (he brought us supper both days, y'all!) we were trying to move the E.Ctr back into place, and we were having trouble. Apparently my LR floor isn't super level. So we borrowed his muscle. I am IN LOVE with how it looks on that light wall. Before it, the floor, and the tops of the coffee table and end tables all sort of blended together. Now each is it's own individual piece!

That night, after Mom went home, I texted her this photo. The paint looked GREY! It looks different in different lights, and I think that's why I love it.

The next morning one of Aaron's sisters texted me asking me for an update, so I sent her the above photo, nothing was back on the walls, but all the furniture was back in place.

Here are a couple of the finished room.
 I chalk painted 24 picture frames for this gallery wall. It took Mom and I a little over 2 hours to get it all placed right and spaced out and hung up, but it's honestly one of my favorite parts of the new re-do.

 Simplified this area. Took down the wedding gallery and put the "Family Rules" up there. I'm on the hunt for something along the same lines but a bit brighter. Like I said earlier, everything I bought for so long was white because I was trying to lighten up the house. She's plenty light now! Bring on the color!

Have I told y'all the story about this picture? Mom has one exactly like it hanging over her bed. It's a Don Ensor print, and if you don't know, it's a magnolia. Super southern, right? yes.  So I'd been looking on line for one to buy but they're expensive. Mom got hers on eBay for  a steal, but I was having no such luck. During the last play I did, DW Live! Reloaded, we were set design hunting at a lady's apartment. This lady has been a part of every play I've ever done, and I love her so so dearly and was grateful to even be asked into her home. She's a Mississippi Belle, a for real live debutante, and after we searched her apartment for set pieces, she took us down into her storage unit. When my friend, the director, pulled this (frame and all) our of the storage unit, I nearly went to my knees. I told the lady that Mama had one just like it and I how much I loved it. I never said I wanted one. She took my hand and said "sweetheart if you love it that much, take it with you. You have to have it." I remember how all the air went out of that room for a minute as me, and my two girlfriends all stared at each other. The one was sitting on the ground with her eyes bugged out and the other who was standing next to me grabbed my hand in shock! I told her no, no, that I couldn't do that. She kept insisting, and almost started bullying me into it. I begged her to let me pay her for it. She wouldn't hear of it. I begged her to let me pay for the FRAME, cause she mentioned she had well over $700 in the frame alone. She wouldn't take any of my begging. She took my hand in one hand and cupped my cheek with the other and said "Darling, this print is going to sit right here in this storage unit until I die. I'm not going to hang it up anywhere in my apartment ever. I want you to have it because you love it. And it needs someone to love it. Don't hurt my feelings and not take it.you dearly." (That's a direct quote. I'll never forget it as long as I live.) I cried and gave in. I still can't believe it. Every time I walk past it I say "thank you" to the little ol' lady that loves me dearly. 


So it took one day to do the entire living room and hallway. We were shocked. So, we decided that with all the extra paint we had we may as well paint the kitchen to match. Honestly, you can't really tell a difference in the tone of the room, but the yellow-ness of the walls is gone. And I love it. It definitely looks more grey in the kitchen than it does in the LR.


STILL waiting on my cafe-tier curtains. I ordered them from Linens n Things online.... who else thought they were COMPLETELY out of business? I've not had a good experience so far. These kitchen valances are by Lorraine Home in the Adirondack Blue. Got them from Amazon. When I went back to order the cafe sets, they didn't have them in blue. But a Google search said Linens n Things did. I was shocked, but there they were, so I ordered them. On 11/10. Should have been here at the beginning of the next week, didn't ship until YESTERDAY. Oh well. What can you do? Lesson learned.

I LOVE how bright and crisp everything looks. But things were looking a little TOO bright and crisp there at our wedding collage.

Leftover door paint to the rescue! 10 minutes later, the blue adds some much needed color to the space.

Aaron loves the redo because we can shut the drapes now. We are actually getting NEW drapes that match better but we had these in storage and needed them right then.

Bought this new rug for the front door at Kohls.... $50 for $16. Yes... thank you. It is Tabby approved. She's not stopped laying on that one corner since we laid it down.


Thank you guys for reading and catching up with me! I'm actually heading over to write a Christmas Decor post right now!! So be sure you check back for that! I won't talk to you all until after Thanksgiving, so HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone! 




*ACE Hardware, Amazon, Lowe's Home Depot, Kohl's are not compensating me to talk about them.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

The Saddest Post I Can Imagine. Our Miscarriage Story...

I shared our miscarriage story today on The Impossible Dream.

Please click HERE to read the story.